I think most of us have a poor self image at times. I know I have in the past, but as time has gone on, I have come to accept myself. But some people never seem to stop beating themselves up and putting themselves down. They cannot see what others can see; they think they are not good, whereas other people see them as great!
Of course, the world also has people that think they are better than they are, and have massive egos. But generally speaking, I believe that there are more people who do not give themselves the credit they should.
There’s a lot you can accomplish by having a positive self-image. Your confidence will increase which means that you can deal with more situations, and not run away from difficult ones. People will respond to your increased self-image in a positive way – you will give off certain vibes that will attract other people.
The first step to increasing your self-image is to know yourself. You need to understand your capabilities and skills, without under estimating them. You also want to determine weaknesses to improve upon. But don’t beat yourself up too much when identifying these. Weaknesses can easily be turned into strengths if you work at them long enough. Be true to yourself and imagine you are seeing yourself objectively from a friend or colleagues viewpoint.
Determine what aspects about you are important to change and concentrate on those. Don’t look at too many, maybe work on a couple at a time. There may also be aspects that you are not that concerned with, and won’t have much effect on your self-image. Ignore those. You can’t and shouldn’t change every aspect of yourself – you don’t want to lose your own personality, just improve the things that you would like to change. Sometimes, you should just accept those aspects of your personality that give you your own uniqueness and move on.
The number one rule though is that you need to be willing to change. If you don’t feel good about yourself, you have to make changes to turn that around. Change is never easy, but when it comes to increasing your self-image, but you will see that it’s worth the effort. Doing the same thing all the time will give you the same results every time – so take one aspect that you most want to change, and take action. Even a little tweak here and there can soon have you noticing a big difference in how much you like the new you.
And it doesn’t have to be massive changes – lots of small ones will add up over time. There’s no point trying to be a completely different person in just a few weeks – you need time to work out what to change, make those changes, and then let them become habitual. It takes about 3-4 weeks for habits to form, so don’t expect great strides in just a few days. You also need to accept the new you and get used to each step along the way.
You can seek out an image consultant to help if you are struggling with doing this yourself. An image consultant is trained in helping people increase their self-image. It can be humbling to hear what the consultant advises but this is part of the process, and you should embrace it. Don’t be afraid to spend some money for a decent consultant. The results they provide will pay for itself.
If money is an issue, then be prepared to confide in a true friend. Ask them if they will help you, and ask them to be honest. It may cause a few tensions, but if you want to change then be prepared for some truths that you may not want to hear. Having said that, they wouldn’t be your friend if they didn’t like you as you are – so you may need them to be subjective. In this scenario I would suggest that you tackle just one or two areas where you think you need the most help. Maybe you want some help to improve your work image in order to get a promotion? Or that you are easily attracted the the wrong kind of person?
Keep in mind that no matter what kind of help you get, this is your journey or change. Don’t worry about what others may believe and whatever you do, stop comparing yourself to other people. They don’t have to live your life, with it’s own unique stresses and foibles. You are the one that has to live with the consequences of your new image, both good and bad. Although, try to emphasise only the good whenever possible – after all, this is the purpose of this exercise.
You may be surprised but when your self-image improves, just about every aspect of your life will follow suit. You will have better relationships at home and at work, and you will have a much more positive attitude. Tasks will seem less challenging, partly because people will be more willing to pitch in to help you accomplish them and partly because you will have the confidence to tackle them head on. People will feed off your positive energy and want to be around you more often. This may open opportunities for you that you never thought you would have at your disposal. So keep your eyes open for them!
I hope that helps you with your own self image issues. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own life it is that no matter what others think of you, being able to accept yourself for who you are, and working on anything that you are not 100% happy with, is the start of any journey to happiness and fulfilment. So stay positive, don’t get disheartened, and accept that change can be good. I’ve found that it often is.