When you look at your life, are you happy that you are making the right choices, for yourself, on how to live. Or do you think that you are missing opportunities to be happy, because you continue to seek approval from others before taking action on anything?
One of the things that holds many people back from the kind of success and happiness they deserve is worrying about what others will think and say. On the one hand, it is important to get support from friends and family, that you are doing something worthwhile.
However, if you find yourself holding back from things you would really like to do because of “What will people think?” it might be time to put your own beliefs first rather than what other people think. You owe it to yourself to be happy, you don’t owe anyone else anything.
In the 1949 Hollywood film “The Fountainhead,” egotistical architect Howard Roark is asked by his competitor, Ellsworth Toohey, “Mr. Roark, we’re alone here. Why don’t you tell me what you think of me in any words you wish?” Howard Roark’s reply is: “But I don’t think of you!” This is a great example of looking after yourself. Why bother to try to keep up with the Joneses when they probably don’t even know you exist?
When we are children, we want to please our parents and others – in extreme cases it can literally be a case of survival. If you are “bad,” you are put in the corner alone, away from the comfort of the “tribe.” If you are really bad, you are told to go to bed without supper. Whilst not so common as when I was growing up, there are still cases of this discipline occurring nowadays.
However, there are some parents who simply can’t support and affirm their children emotionally. Saying, “You did great!” or “I’m proud of you,” – they find almost impossible. This can lead to serious emotional consequences, not least of which is that the child – and adult he or she becomes – may constantly be trying to please a person who is incapable of being pleased.
As children grow up and go through the school process many of them are vying to be popular, and to do that they get more vocal, and talk over each other – I think this explains why they always seem noisy when you meet them in groups!
At work, we do not always get the affirmation we deserve from bosses and colleagues, or prospective customers. This can leave us feeling undervalued and unappreciated, with our talents going to waste. This might make us so unhappy that we start to consider quitting because we have hit so many obstacles. If you find yourself in this situation, I urge you to consider all options before you act rashly. It would be better to have a one to one with your line manager than rush to a decision you may regret.
You might even dream of running our own business, and getting away from the corporate life. You might mention the idea to others whose opinion you respect and they could tell you that you will be a success if you were to try. Of course, some people might argue the opposite, that you have a good job with a steady income, and shouldn’t do anything to risk that.
Becoming a “people pleaser” and doing what everyone else wants, instead of being comfortable with yourself and your achievements, can be a miserable life path. There’s no point in being a people pleaser if you aren’t happy yourself. The truth is that so many people are so self-absorbed that they aren’t really paying attention to what you are doing anyway, unless of course they are a complete control freak.
Try one or all of these affirmations today, and see what a difference they can make to your life:
1. I am happy with my life.
2. I try to do my best at all times.
3. I live life on my own terms.
4. I resist damaging influences.
5. I enjoy whatever life throws at me.
6. I handle stressful situations well.
7. I am in control of my emotions.
8. I learn from any mistakes I might make, and always try to do better.
9. I deserve to be happy.
10. I always take the higher path.
Use these affirmations every week to remind yourself of your worth and how deserving you are of happiness, so you can live your best life on your own terms. You have one life, live it in a way that is good and keeps you happy. Use affirmations to follow your dreams!